--- title: "Online Dating Scams: Red Flags and What to Do If Hit" url: https://playciso.com/blog/online-dating-scams-how-to-spot updated: 2026-11-07 section: Blog publisher: PlayCISO --- # Online Dating Scams: Red Flags and What to Do If Hit > Love-bombing, no video call, a sudden emergency or a crypto tip: the red flags of online dating scams and what to do if you have already sent money. Source: https://playciso.com/blog/online-dating-scams-how-to-spot · Published: 2026-11-07 · Publisher: PlayCISO (https://playciso.com) --- **An online dating scam is when someone you meet on a dating site, app or social media builds a relationship with you in order to get your money, and the clearest rule against it is the FTC's: never send money or gifts to a sweetheart you have not met in person.** The common signs, listed by the FTC and by Australia's Scamwatch, are a quick push to move the chat to another app, strong feelings declared very fast, excuses for never meeting or appearing on video, a sudden emergency that needs money, an offer to help you invest in crypto, and pressure to keep it all secret. If you are reading this because it has already happened to you, please know that these scams are built by professionals to work on kind, careful and intelligent people. It is not a character flaw, and the steps below start right away. ## Do this now: if something feels off - Stop sending money, gifts and personal information. The FTC's core rule is simple, and it holds however convincing the story is. - Slow down. Urgency is a tool. The FTC lists pressure to pay quickly as a warning sign, and Scamwatch suggests going slowly, asking questions and looking for inconsistencies. - Ask for a live video call. Scamwatch lists constant excuses for not meeting in person or on video as a red flag. A genuine person usually finds a way. - Check the profile. Scamwatch suggests searching the name with the word "scam" and running a reverse image search on the photos. The FTC notes that a profile photo may turn up under a different name. - Tell someone you trust. Scamwatch says a trusted person may notice red flags you miss. A scammer often asks you to keep things secret for exactly that reason. - Do not move money for anyone. Scamwatch warns never to transfer money for someone else, since it may involve you in money laundering. - Report the profile to the app where you met, and the scam to your national agency (see the last section). You can rehearse all of this in the [Dating Scam Spotter Lab](/tools/dating-scam-spotter-lab), a story with fictional people where nothing real is at stake. ## How to tell: the pattern, step by step Every scam is different, but many share the same stages. This is a common pattern, not a statistic. Each stage maps to warning signs the official pages list. ### 1. The match and the move The profile looks polished, and the match often says they live or work abroad, for example on an oil rig or in the military. The FTC lists claims like these as a reason people cannot meet. Soon they ask to move to a chat app or email. Scamwatch names free messaging apps in this warning, because the move takes the conversation away from the dating site's safety and reporting tools. ### 2. Love-bombing Messages arrive several times a day and strong feelings are declared early: "soulmate", "I have never felt like this". Scamwatch calls this fast-moving intensity a warning sign, alongside pressure to keep the relationship secret and to pull away from family and friends. Feeling flattered is normal; it is the speed that stands out. ### 3. The missing video call The camera is broken, the signal is bad, there is always a reason. Scamwatch lists constant excuses for not meeting in person or on video as a red flag. ### 4. The emergency Then comes a crisis: a medical bill, a visa or travel cost, a fee to "get them out of trouble". The FTC lists these requests and notes they often come with urgency and with payment methods that are hard to get back, such as wire transfers, gift cards, money transfer apps or cryptocurrency. ### 5. The investment tip (often called "pig butchering") Some scams swap the emergency for a money-making tip: a trading or crypto platform the match claims is making them rich. The FTC says plainly: "Never mix online dating and investment advice." Scamwatch lists suggestions to invest, often in cryptocurrency, as a sign. The FTC adds that guaranteed profits are always fake and that crypto payments typically are not reversible, so a platform that shows a rising balance can be entirely invented. The slang "pig butchering" describes building trust first and then taking as much as possible; it is not an official term on the pages above. ### 6. Receiving and forwarding money Some scammers ask you to accept a payment and pass it on, or to open an account for them. Scamwatch warns that moving money for someone else may involve you in money laundering. A person who does this, even innocently, is sometimes called a money mule, and the funds may come from other victims. If anything arrives that you did not expect, tell your bank before you move it. ### 7. Private pictures and pressure Another version asks for private photos, then threatens to share them unless you pay. This is blackmail, often called sextortion, and the person doing it is committing the crime. Scamwatch lists requests for intimate images and threats or anger when you push back among its warning signs. The FTC says that if someone threatens to release compromising material unless you pay in crypto, that is blackmail and you should report it to the FBI right away. Paying rarely ends it. Do not pay, stop replying, keep the messages, and tell someone you trust. **If the person involved is under 18,** please involve a trusted adult and local police. The US National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) runs a CyberTipline for reports and a service called Take It Down, which helps remove or limit the spread of nude or sexual images taken before age 18. NCMEC says the image stays on the device and only a digital fingerprint is shared with participating platforms. A young person is never to blame. ## If you already sent money You are not the first and you will not be the last, and acting quickly gives the best chance of limiting the damage. - Stop contact. Do not warn or confront the scammer. The FTC and Scamwatch both say to cut contact. - Call your bank or payment company at once. The FTC says if you paid by gift card, wire transfer, credit or debit card or cryptocurrency, contact the company or your bank right away, tell them you paid a scammer and ask for a refund. For crypto, the FTC notes payments typically are not reversible, but still ask the exchange you used. - Do not pay again. Anyone who offers to recover your money for an upfront fee is often a second scam. - Change passwords for accounts where you shared details, as Scamwatch advises, starting with your email and banking. Our [Password Strength](/tools/password-strength) tool helps. - Keep the evidence: messages, profile names, payment receipts and wallet addresses. - Report it. In the US, report to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov. For crypto, the FTC also lists the CFTC, the SEC and the FBI's IC3, plus the exchange you used. In Australia, report to Scamwatch, and Scamwatch also points to IDCARE for free identity and cyber support. In the UK, report to Action Fraud. Also tell the dating app or site where you met. - Look after yourself. Talk to a friend, family member or a support line in your country. Scamwatch points distressed people to Lifeline in Australia. ## Prevent it next time: a checklist - Keep early chats on the dating app, and be cautious about moving to a chat app quickly. - Ask for a live video call within the first week or two. Treat repeated excuses as an answer. - Search the name with "scam" and run a reverse image search on the photos. - Never send money, gifts, card or bank details or ID documents to someone you only know online. - Never mix dating and investing, and never pay for crypto "tips" from a match. - Never receive and forward money for a person you have not met. - Be careful with intimate images, and keep personal details about your job, home and family limited. - Tell a friend about the relationship, early. Scamwatch says others may spot red flags you miss. - Meet in a public place the first time, and tell someone where you are going. For other scam patterns, see our guides to [WhatsApp scams](/blog/whatsapp-scams-how-to-spot) and [AI scams](/blog/ai-scams-how-to-spot), and the [AI Scam Spotter Lab](/tools/ai-scam-spotter-lab). If you hold crypto, see [our crypto wallet checklist](/blog/crypto-wallet-security-checklist). ## Frequently asked questions ### How can I tell if someone on a dating app is a scammer? The FTC and Scamwatch list common signs: they quickly want to move the chat to another app, they say they cannot meet or video call, they declare strong feelings very fast, they ask for money or offer an investment tip, and they push you to act quickly or keep the relationship secret. ### What is a romance scam? It is a scam where someone builds a relationship with you online, usually through a dating site or app or social media, and then asks for money or gifts. The FTC's rule is to never send money or gifts to a sweetheart you have not met in person. ### Why do dating scammers talk about crypto? The FTC and Scamwatch both list an offer to help you invest in cryptocurrency as a romance-scam sign. The FTC advises never mixing online dating and investment advice, and notes that crypto payments are typically not reversible. ### What should I do if someone threatens to share my private pictures? Do not pay, stop replying, keep the messages and report it to the platform and to the authorities. The FTC says to report blackmail like this to the FBI right away. You are the victim of a crime, and you are not alone. ### What if the person is under 18? Tell a trusted adult, and use NCMEC's CyberTipline and its Take It Down service, which helps remove or limit images taken before age 18. Contact local police too. A young person is never to blame. ### I already sent money. What now? Stop contact, then call your bank or the company that handled the payment right away, say you paid a scammer and ask for a refund. Keep the evidence, and report to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov or your own country's agency. Do not send more money, even to "release" what you sent. ## Sources - [US Federal Trade Commission: What you need to know about romance scams (August 2022)](https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/what-you-need-know-about-romance-scams) - [US Federal Trade Commission: What to know about cryptocurrency and scams](https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/what-know-about-cryptocurrency-and-scams) - [Australia's Scamwatch: Romance scams](https://www.scamwatch.gov.au/types-of-scams/romance-scams) - [NCMEC: Take It Down](https://takeitdown.ncmec.org/) - [US Federal Trade Commission: ReportFraud.ftc.gov](https://reportfraud.ftc.gov/) - [FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3)](https://www.ic3.gov/) - [Action Fraud (UK)](https://www.actionfraud.police.uk/) *This is general guidance, not legal or financial advice. Reporting services and wording change; follow the official pages above for the current steps in your country.*