Internet Safety for Kids: A Parent's Checklist, by Age

The most effective internet safety step for kids is a conversation that stays open, backed by age-appropriate settings and a plan for when something goes wrong. This checklist is for parents, carers and teachers, not for children. It covers talking early and without blame, device and account setup, parental controls and their limits, privacy settings, strangers and in-game chat, screen time, scams, what to do when something goes wrong, and signs to watch for. It is general guidance: every child, family and country is different, and app menus change, so we link official help pages rather than describing exact taps.

A note on what this page leaves out. We do not repeat detailed accounts of how people harm children online, and we do not give figures, because we have not fetched current ones from a primary source. Where something serious is involved, we point to the organisations built to help.

Do this now: the first-week plan

1. Have the first conversation. Ask what they enjoy online and who they talk to there. CEOP Education advises keeping conversations calm, open and supportive. Say clearly that they will not be in trouble for telling you about something that worries them.
2. Agree a few family rules together, such as where devices are used, who they can talk to, what is fine to share and when to come to you. Rules a child helped write are easier to follow.
3. Set up devices and accounts before they get them. Use the child's date of birth honestly (many age settings depend on it), create the account yourself or alongside them, and use a strong, unique password in a password manager. Our Password Strength tool helps you test one.
4. Turn on the controls that suit the age. Use the official parental-control or family settings of the device, the app store and each app. Internet Matters and the NSPCC publish parent guides on this; check their current pages.
5. Tighten privacy settings on each app they use (see below), and recheck after updates.
6. Write down your plan for problems (see "If something goes wrong") and tell your child what it is.

Talking early and without blame

Children often hide a problem because they fear a reaction: losing the device, being told off, or upsetting a parent. CEOP Education advises staying calm, and says you can talk to a trusted friend, partner or your child's school if you are worried. So practise a few calm openers: "Anything weird happen online today?" or "Has anyone ever asked you for something that felt off?" Then listen more than you speak. Thank them for telling you, even if the news is uncomfortable. If you learn something worrying, take a breath before you act.

Device and account setup by age

We do not set exact ages, because laws, apps and children differ. Use the app's stated minimum age and your own judgement. A rough guide to thinking about it:

• Younger children: supervised use in shared spaces, a child profile or kids mode where one exists, no open chat with strangers, and purchases locked behind your approval.
• Pre-teens: an agreed list of apps, accounts set to private by default, contact limited to people you both know, and regular check-ins.
• Teenagers: more independence with the same open door. Move from controlling to coaching: talk through privacy, group chats, scams and how to report.

The FTC explains that COPPA covers sites and services aimed at children under 13, and general-audience sites that knowingly collect personal information from children that age. Covered sites must get a parent's consent before collecting, using or disclosing a child's information. The FTC says parents can review a company's privacy policy, ask to see the information collected, withdraw consent and have it deleted, and report violations at ReportFraud.ftc.gov. That is US law; other countries have their own rules.

Parental controls and their limits

Controls can filter content, limit who can contact a child, set time limits and require approval for downloads and purchases. They are worth setting up. They also have limits worth knowing:

• They cover only what you set up. A friend's phone, a school device or another app may have none.
• They do not teach judgement. A child who understands why a rule exists is safer when the rule is not there.
• Older children may find workarounds, and covert monitoring can damage trust. Be open about what is on, and why.
• They need maintenance. Revisit them as the child grows and as apps change.

The menus differ by device and change often. Use the official help page for the specific phone, console or app (the exact path changes; see the official help page), and the parent guides from Internet Matters and the NSPCC.

Privacy settings on the apps kids use

For any social, messaging or video app: make the account private if that option exists, limit who can message or comment, turn off location sharing, check whether the profile photo and username reveal real identity, and look at what the app does with contacts. Choose usernames that do not include a full name, school or birth year. Our checklists for TikTok and Instagram show the kinds of settings to look for; use each app's own help page for the current steps.

Strangers and in-game chat

Games and social apps let people talk to others they have never met. Agree what is allowed: for example, chat only with people they know in real life, voice chat only in a shared room, no moving a conversation to another app, and always telling you if someone asks for personal details, photos or secrecy. Most games and apps have settings to limit or turn off chat and to block and report players. Make using those tools part of the family routine. The NCMEC NetSmartz programme has parent resources on gaming, livestreaming, social media and other topics, though some materials need a free registration.

Screen time as a conversation

Treat screen time as something to agree on, not only enforce. Talk about what the time is for, which activities matter (schoolwork, creating, friends), and what a good balance looks like for your family. Set device-free times that apply to adults too, such as meals and bedtime. Built-in screen time tools can help, and so can charging phones outside the bedroom. We do not claim a specific number of hours is right for every child, because we have not fetched one from an authoritative source.

Scams aimed at kids

Children meet scams too: fake giveaways for in-game currency, "free" skins that ask for a login, a friend whose account was taken over asking for money, and messages from fake "support" staff. Teach three habits: nobody legitimate needs your password, be sceptical of anything that is too good or urgent, and show a trusted adult before clicking or paying. AI can now make convincing fake voices and messages, so read AI scams: how to spot them, and consider a family code word to verify an urgent request. The Voice Clone Fraud Defense Checklist explains how.

If something goes wrong: stay calm, keep proof, report

1. Stay calm and thank them. CEOP Education says to stay calm before acting. Tell your child it is not their fault and that they were right to tell you.
2. Do not punish. Keep the device with you only if you need to, and explain why. The aim is for them to tell you next time too.
3. Take screenshots of messages, usernames and profile pages before anything is deleted. Do not forward or share explicit images, even to report: report through the official channels instead.
4. Block the account and report it inside the app or game.
5. Report to the right authority. If a child is in immediate danger, call your emergency number (999 in the UK). In the US, NCMEC's CyberTipline (report.cybertip.org, or 1-800-843-5678 for its 24-hour line) accepts reports of suspected online enticement and other exploitation of children. In the UK, you can report to CEOP through its Safety Centre or to your local police, and the NSPCC helpline is 0808 800 5000 according to CEOP Education. In Australia, see the eSafety Commissioner (esafety.gov.au) and your local police.
6. If an intimate image of a child is involved, NCMEC's Take It Down is a free service that helps remove or stop the online sharing of nude, partially nude or sexually explicit images or videos taken before the person was 18. NCMEC says a digital fingerprint is created on the device, the image is not uploaded, and it works on participating platforms. Do not send or share the image to use it, and NCMEC notes platforms may be limited in removing content already posted. You can also report to the CyberTipline.
7. Look after yourself. CEOP Education suggests talking to a trusted friend or relative or calling the NSPCC helpline.

Signs to watch for

No single sign proves anything, and children change for many reasons. Things worth a gentle, no-blame conversation include: sudden secrecy about devices, upset after being online, a new group of friends you have not heard of, gifts or money you cannot explain, a change in sleep or mood, or withdrawal from activities they enjoyed. If you are worried, you can call the NSPCC helpline (0808 800 5000 in the UK, per CEOP Education) to talk it through.

Prevent it next time: a checklist

• A standing, calm conversation about online life, not a one-off lecture.
• Accounts private, contact limited, location off, and usernames that do not reveal identity.
• Parental controls on, explained to the child, and reviewed every few months.
• A family plan for strangers, secrecy and requests for photos: always tell a trusted adult.
• A family code word for urgent requests.
• Everyone, adults included, knows how to screenshot, block and report.
• Rehearse the decisions in the Kids Internet Safety Lab, a scenario for adults that collects nothing about any child.

Frequently asked questions

What is the most important thing to do for internet safety for kids?

Keep the conversation open. CEOP Education advises keeping conversations calm, open and supportive. A child who expects a calm response is more likely to tell you when something goes wrong, which is more useful than any single setting.

At what age should I set up parental controls?

Set them up before a child gets their own device, and review them as they grow. The settings available differ by device, app and age, so use the official help page for each. Controls are a safety net, not a replacement for talking.

Can parental controls keep my child completely safe?

No. They can limit content, contacts and purchases, but children can meet problems on other devices, on friends' devices or through apps you have not set up. Treat controls as one layer next to conversation and supervision suited to the child's age.

What should I do if my child is being pressured to send images or is being threatened?

Stay calm, do not blame them, keep evidence and report. In the US, NCMEC's CyberTipline accepts reports and its Take It Down service helps remove images taken before 18. In the UK, report to CEOP or your local police, and call 999 if a child is in immediate danger. In Australia, see the eSafety Commissioner and contact the police.

Should I take my child's phone away if something goes wrong?

Try not to make it feel like a punishment. A child who fears losing their device may hide the next problem. Say that you are glad they told you, keep the evidence, and decide together what changes. This is our advice rather than a rule from one agency.

What does COPPA mean for my child's accounts?

The FTC says COPPA covers sites and services aimed at children under 13, and general-audience sites that knowingly collect personal information from children that age. Covered sites must get a parent's consent first, and parents can ask to see the information collected or withdraw consent and have it deleted.

Sources

• CEOP Education: advice for parents and carers (UK National Crime Agency)
• National Center for Missing & Exploited Children: Take It Down
• National Center for Missing & Exploited Children: CyberTipline
• NCMEC NetSmartz: online safety topics
• US Federal Trade Commission: Protecting your child's privacy online (COPPA)
• NSPCC: online safety (UK)
• eSafety Commissioner: parents (Australia)
• Internet Matters: parental controls guides (UK)

This is general guidance, not legal, medical or child-protection advice. If a child is in danger, contact your emergency services. Laws, services and app menus differ by country and change; follow the official pages for current steps.